Learning to Be a Man

#1 – Gender Issues                                                                             October 6, 2003


In my first e-mail, I thought I would list the different resources and organizations mentioned Friday night.  In light of the constant attacks we, as men, are under by the media, the culture, and the world, the biblical emphases of these books and organizations are a real encouragement.


As men, we lead pretty busy lives, and it can be hard to squeeze in one more commitment.  Let me encourage you, if you have not already done so, to hook up with another brother for prayer and encouragement.  As I mentioned during the weekend, I meet with another man Friday mornings for breakfast at a local diner.  Each week we read a chapter of a book and then discuss it over breakfast.  That accountability has helped me keep reading.  We have read together both Bringing Up Boys and Future Men and are now working through Wilson’s Reforming Marriage.  Not only has meeting together kept me reading, it has also been good to have someone else to discuss the different issues raised by the books.  In addition, by going through the book at a slower, consistent pace (one chapter a week), it gives time for the Lord to affect necessary changes in one’s life.



Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson


This is the book I read from several times Friday night.  It does a great job of showing how boys and girls are created by God to be different and how vital a Father’s role is in bringing them up to be men.  After you finish reading this book, be sure to lend it to your wife.  It will go a long way to helping her to see why her sons are so hard for her to understand. 



Future Men by Douglas Wilson (http://www.discerningreader.com/futmendougwi1.html)

A great compliment to Dobson’s book.  Where Dr. Dobson starts more from a psychological standpoint, Wilson starts with the Bible and shows us the different things we need to be teaching our sons.  He tackles several areas of temptation our sons will face and gives biblical advice on how to prepare them.  He includes a great appendix: “Proverbs Was Written for Boys.”



Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood (www.cbmw.org)

This organization has a wealth of resources for men and women.  In addition to dozens of articles, there are also audio messages that one can listen to online.  This is one website that is worth visiting regularly as they are continually updating their material.



Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, edited by John Piper and Wayne Grudem


This book is available in its entirety in pdf format from CBMW mentioned above.  I currently have this book on my Palm to read when I have time.  It is good enough that I am going to be ordering a print copy.  Print copy can be ordered at:






Patriarch Magazine (www.patriarch.org)

Not only is this a good magazine (you all received a copy at registration), their website has over a hundred articles on all sorts of topics about being a godly husband and father.  The articles are organized by topics, and I will be referencing individual articles in my other emails.  I have spent many a lunch hour feasting among their many excellent articles.



International Council for Gender Studies (www.fiveaspects.org)


ICGS publishes two study courses: Five Aspects of Man, and Five Aspects of Femininity.  The Five Aspects of Man course is highly recommended by Doug Wilson in his book Future Men.  The Five Aspects courses are complete 20-lessons packages with textbook and audio cassettes.  They are said to be working on a Five Aspects for Young Men, designed for teens.  It’s supposed to be available this fall.  Although my oldest boy is only 10-1/2, I will probably be ordering one or both of these to go through on my own, and then do them as studies with my son.  You can ask for a free catalog on their website, or use their toll free number:  1-800-317-6958.



Thank you for all your notes and words of encouragement!  May God be glorified as we learn together to be the kind of men God created us to be.


Your brother in Christ,

Terry Carnes


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